..running thru my mind..

Lately I feel nutz...I had been talking to Miss DA about it. Nothing much, really, because as for me myself...even I cannot figure out what went wrong. Maybe it was that dream, maybe it is just plain homesick...and maybe it is just that routine all of us go through from time to time.

Symptoms:

• the net is not that fun anymore

• brooding for no apparent reason

• sighing...a lot

• bored to death

• having this weird unknown craving

• feeling incomplete

• confused...totally~

They call it 'mood swings'...so if this is mood swing then all I want is to jump off the bloody swing. It's driving me crazy~ I keep thinking about things that I shouldn't. In the end, when I finally found my way around it, I end up back where I started. Am I making sense here? All I am trying to say is; I know what I have to do, I know that this is not the way I should be and it is obvious, even to me, that this is not me. I am not this, whatever this is. The only thing I know about mood swings is...that is what I feel when I wake up...the dragon [my dad calls me this...he used to say to my lil sis, "Go wake up the dragon."]

Conclusions:

• maybe I am already missing my family that much [because watching movies is a very 'MohdJais's family' thing]

• I am the only person in this house who is going to take the flight back to Malaysia...so~

• I am afraid that when I step on Malaysian soil I will be grounded at home...there goes all my outings

• will people still recognize me?

• promises...all the promises...*sigh* will it ever happen?

stay focus. keep it real. be strong. 7 more days to go...don't lose it now.